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Subject: Cold Is Relative Date: Tue Aug 08 2017 12:05 am
From: Daryl Stout To: All

The Temperature Conversion Guide (degrees are in Fahrenheit):
 
50 above - New Yorkers turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
 
40 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
 
35 above - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows
down.
 
32 above - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
 
20 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on
            a t-shirt.
 
15 above - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go
swimming.
 
Zero - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the
last cook-out before it gets cold.
 
10 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flagpoles.
 
20 below - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on alight
jacket.
 
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent videos.
 
60 below - Mt. St. Helen's freezes. Canadian Girl Scouts begin selling
cookies door to door.
 
80 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts
postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
 
100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down
their ear flaps.
 
173 below - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they
can't thaw their kegs.
 
297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows
complain of farmers with cold hands.
 
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying
"Cold'nuff for ya?"
 
500 below - Hell freezes over. The Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
 

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