If you are technologically challenged, and sometimes stress out over your
computer, take heart...
From a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
3. A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor
screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them
individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his
computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained
that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken
personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told
the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his
computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician
asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I
pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal"
turned out to be the computer's mouse.
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened
when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third
disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that
"Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
10. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech
Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder
on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go
about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup
holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you
receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this
cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my
computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on
it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the
load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech
asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting
in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working
fine."
12. TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." CUSTOMER: "I don't have
a 'P'". TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "What do you
mean?" TECH SUPPORT: "'P' ...on your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "Hey,
Buddy, I'm not going to do that! Figure another way!"
Have a blessed day, and enjoy your computer!!!
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (454:1/33)
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